Disclaimer: This is not my original piece. I happened to receive and thought good to share with my network for the wonderful message this brings in.
A man was asked to paint a boat.
He brought with him paint and brushes and began to paint the boat a bright red, as the owner asked him.
While painting, he noticed that there was a small hole in the hull, and quietly repaired it.
When finished painting, he received his money and left.
The next day, the owner of the boat came to the painter and presented him with a nice cheque, much higher than the payment for painting.
The painter was surprised and said “You’ve already paid me for painting the boat Sir!”
“But this is not for the paint job. It’s for having repaired the hole in the boat.”
“Ah! But it was such a small service… certainly it’s not worth paying me such a high amount for something so insignificant.”
“My dear friend, you do not understand. Let me tell you what happened.
When I asked you to paint the boat, I forgot to mention about the hole.
When the boat dried, my kids took the boat and went on a fishing trip.
They did not know that there was a hole. I was not at home at that time.
When I returned and noticed they had taken the boat, I was desperate because I remembered that the boat had a hole.
Imagine my relief and joy when I saw them returning from fishing.
Then, I examined the boat and found that you had repaired the hole! You see, now, what you did? You saved the life of my children! I do not have enough money to pay your ‘small’ good deed.”
Just painting well without flaw is efficiency
Doing more than expected keeping in mind the purpose and fulfilling it is ‘Effectiveness’
Efficiency is process focussed ; Effectiveness is purpose focussed
As Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ji of the Art of Living says, “It is not doing great things that produce great results, it is doing small important things perfectly”
As we complete 26 years of this blissful journey of togetherness – a journey that we began as 23 year olds, with joy in our heart and hopes in our minds, someone asked me why I write (by now the customary) blogs acknowledging her gracious (for me grateful) presence. I have so many reasons to do that.
Definitely not for this!!!
Firstly, I got to acknowledge that she deserves much more than whatever even the best of my words and language that I possess can ever express and secondly, considering the alternative – a Card – Sorry! that would be a pathetic replacement to what I want to really say (also there is not enough space on it to write these or for photographs). This is also done to let the world know that this journey is possible even in these days. Finally, I also write to remind some folks who would have forgotten that it is a special day for us, to wish and bless us to continue this journey into eternity.
“Only spiritual elevation can take away loneliness, not soul mates” said, Founder of Art of Living and our Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ji. Yet He blessed us all along to make it easy for me to elevate myself spiritually taking away my loneliness but also ensured that soul mate made it even more easier.
Those who know us would congratulate me, but they would agree and credit Aparna for this wonderful journey – that could well be an example of what & how it is supposed to be – Woman who is fixed, robust and capable of restoring any fallen ones around her. Someone who with lot of sacrifice, unknown to all of us, ensured that “Life is a celebration” not just for the immediately family but to the extended family (Let me assure you that it is definitely not a small one). This was evident just 2 days ago, on the Ugadi day – Painstakingly prepared fares, everything home made with a touch of love (that can never come when eating out) – egging us to do this or do that to ensure that guests simply feel WOW and want more! This has been the feature everyday of the 26 years that Aparna has embellished my life.
I am sure children wouldn’t disagree that life, without her constant but extremely caring and loving nagging, would never been the same. How much ever they are grown, they are still the 1-5 year olds in her eyes and thoughts. Without being overbearing, her care is simply overpowering. Same with her colleagues at work. I am yet to hear someone saying anything “not good” about this wonderful soul, who took up the huge challenge to live with me for 26 long years, bearing all my idiosyncracies (especially when it comes to food) and still working to continue this journey into eternity.
Then we have the extended family – Sindhu, Swathi, Iti, Asha, Meghana, Arun, Raghu, Yathin, Vidya, Giri, Binoy, Nagesh, Leela, Parinith, Rijina and this list goes on… who also bear the brunt of her love and care.
Sindhu, Vishnu, Aparna, Swati, Me, Iti and Divya On Ugadi DayVidya, Vishnu, Aparna, Me, Yathin, Giri and Divya On Ugadi Day
For those who want to know how it works! This journey comes with lots of ups and downs. My confession upfront! It is definitely she who goes more than half way to make it work. It is more “up” for her than me. It is more down for me than her. So all credits to her there! There are many things that we may not see eye to eye, that keeps cropping up again and again. We chose to work around those differences, accept those differences and lived with them. After a couple of years, we both gave up our attempts to change the other (though we haven’t stopped trying, we don’t insist that the other person changes to meet our expectations). This concept of marriage is what amazed our friends from Germany (Ulrich, Steffen, Tobias and many others) who worked in our office (Crompton Greaves Limited) as interns, during the initial years of our marriage. I had only one thing to tell them – In India, we don’t change our spouses – we change ourselves. Not so easy but we grow up seeing our parents making extreme degree of surrender of one’s compromisable principles, mindset and also beliefs to keep a marriage going and keep it blissful. I added, “We got to work to make it Work“
A few months later in a contemplative mood, she asked how is it that our relationship of absolute opposite working – we only looked at each other, grinned and then picked up another argument to keep this relationship firing. It got to be a miracle. Did we believe in miracle? No! We don’t just believe, we rely on it (as Sri Sri spoke during one of His discourse). Our journey is a living example. And I would be claiming false credit if I say it is because of me. Thanks my Dear! For making all those philosophy work in our case.
Happy Anniversary, dearest Aparna. You are simply the best. As I wrote in one of the earlier pieces, “You Complete Me”
Loads and Loads of love!
Decided to gift ourselves a Pilgrimage Trip to Tirupati to express our gratitude to the Lord for this amazing present. Sharing some pictures of the journey so far
A friend whom we met exactly 2 months ago in same placeLady of the Day!Kanipakkam Vinayaka TempleKanipakkam Vinayaka TempleKanipakkam Vinayaka TempleKanipakkam Vinayaka TempleKanipakkam Vinayaka TempleOur Meal 🙂
Karmanyevadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana,
Ma Karmaphalaheturbhurma Te Sangostvakarmani|| 2:47
Thus says Bhagavad Gita in the Chapter 2 (Karma Yoga). It broadly translates to “You have the right to work only but never to its fruits. Let not the fruits of action be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction” As in any of our scriptural texts, the purport goes far beyond the literal translation.
Most of us work for a material result and it is this result that motivates us to work. For instance, if every student study for the sake of marks, they become obsessive and selective in their study. The knowledge or learning thus becomes a lop-sided, short-lived gain. They lose out on long term gains like insight into and understanding of the subject. In fact healthy study habit itself is a casualty. By healthy study habit, I mean that which signify the ability to learn and apply. What this in effect does is to constrain oneself into boxing their belief that all events in life is defined in terms of Success or Failure, which defeats the larger purpose of life.
Another example: Consider a teacher working in a school, with her Principal watching over her shoulders. More often than not they end up demonstrating their sincerity and diligence to the Principal and not focused on helping the students learn. As the world often does, Principal becomes pleased and will rate them high even if the teacher is not successful in their primary duty of facilitating learning.
As Henry Ford said, “Measure of Quality is what we do when no one is watching” Unfortunately, many work for the approval of the world and not for our own approval
Another purport, though the verse above says, that there should be no attachment to inaction too. Wrong action many times results in disaster. Some time we need to take a call on detaching from work itself. We become obsessed with our own creations at work. Even when we know we had gone wrong, we persist for a bit more to make it a success, many a times knowing well that it wouldn’t work.
Pic Courtesy: Web: Shallow Waterless Well and Not giving up
Take the case of this well digger. He continues to dig a well deeper and deeper just because he started it, knowing well after a while that it is not going to yield any water. This despite experts with technologically advanced Water table Prospecting tools, sounding out to dig one well at a particular spot. Ego did not permit him to abandon and move towards that spot.
Pic Courtesy: Web: Digging deeper and deeper
It is not too difficult to find such well diggers at work. Lack of an objective feedback system insulate many from determining the pitfalls of a designed intervention. In such cases, detachment from work and looking at it objectively would help us realize the futility of our effort, retrace the steps and pursue more effective path.
In reply to a question “As a person taking up an assignment at the corporate level, how can I be effective as a leader” during one of the Satsangs in the Art of Living Ashram many many years ago, Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Improve your communication skills. This involves a great deal of listening and detachment from the situation (rising above the situation). This is much needed for anyone in corporate as your grown. A good Manager cannot afford to be impulsive, short tempered, incommunicable, unfriendly and lacking in confidence. In the presence of these things one will not be able to do business properly.
Remember one thing, the manager of the Universe is not so obvious. The one who manages this universe does not make it so obvious that he is doing it; or that He is in control.
Similarly, manage from behind. Leading from behind is the best. When you want to lead a project you should not emphasize your leadership too much. You should do it from behind. There is a saying in Sanskrit, Paroksha Priyahi Vai Devaha, which means that the Gods like to do things indirectly and not so obviously. A person feels, ‘I am doing it’, but it is the Gods who make them do it. So they give the people the joy of feeling that they are doing it, but in reality, it is the Divine energy that does it in a subtle manner, which is not so obvious.
Satsang in The Art of Living Ashram
By the way, it was “Yours Truly” who posed the question and received the answer.
Good Leadership should be like the string in a garland – invisible to the outside world, but in its absence, the flowers fall apart
