We are not the Doers – What it really means

“We are not the Doers! If not you, someone else would have done”
Thus spake an elderly man to me, along with a long wound story to prove this point. All fine but No boss! This Gyan from Bhagavad Gita doesn’t work the way you projected. (Your logic works only when you have absolute power over the situation and position which itself is a myth, and when you want to deny someone the credit :-P)
My understanding and flaws of such thinking in organizational context” If wrongly understood and applied, this Gyan has following pitfalls. Hence it is absolutely essential that we understand the knowledge well and then apply before we supply.
Improper understanding of “We are not the Doers” has the following perils:
  1. It lulls many into inaction. Since I am not the Doer anyway, I get attached to Non-Doer ship. Let Divine make it happen
  2. That urge to “Do it well” is lost because anyway you become already detached from “Do”ing. You end up being mediocre or not doing it at all.
  3. You will not work to acquire that Skill to “Do”. Since you are not the Doer, why to hone the skill or even possess it.
These are the essential dangers of wrong application.
The essence of this in Bhagavad Gita is Vairagya (or dispassion). How and why it works in two specific circumstances. One, when we have done a good job and Two, when we have failed. In both the cases, Do’er ship has its pitfalls.
When we are successful and we feel a Doer ship, it ends up as Ego-booster which throws us off balance. Ego blinds us to facts and slowly results in arrogance which is detrimental. We get  feeling of indispensability  (and invincibility) which is not good situation to be in (in fact it is dangerous). Realizing that we are not the Doers in this case, sets the reality (there are lot of contributory factors, a single one failing would have not helped us get the successful result). It helps us to get out of the complacence and perpetual celebratory state and move on.
When we are not successful and we feel a Doer ship, it ends up in despondence. We condemn ourselves as worthless which again it lulls us into inaction. Our thinking would be that anything that unlucky me “Do”es goes wrong. Realizing we are not the Doers, we did the best would help us get out of the mire at the earliest and move on.
In both of the above situations, practicing Vairagya, dispassion (not indifference) helps us be alert and move on in life and not get bogged down by a “Success” or by a “Failure” We do our best and leave the result to the Divine.
In organization context and as leaders, we should also realize – Not anyone can “Do” it. It requires skill and tact. We are not the Doers… But someone has to Do it… And Doing it require Skill… and Commitment
Looking back and considering what is happening today – I am laughing my bottoms off.
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Effectiveness or Efficiency

Disclaimer: This is not my original piece. I happened to receive and thought good to share with my network for the wonderful message this brings in.

A man was asked to paint a boat.

He brought with him paint and brushes and began to paint the boat a bright red, as the owner asked him.

While painting, he noticed that there was a small hole in the hull, and quietly repaired it.

When finished painting, he received his money and left.

The next day, the owner of the boat came to the painter and presented him with a nice cheque, much higher than the payment for painting.

The painter was surprised and said “You’ve already paid me for painting the boat Sir!”

“But this is not for the paint job. It’s for having repaired the hole in the boat.”

“Ah! But it was such a small service… certainly it’s not worth paying me such a high amount for something so insignificant.”

“My dear friend, you do not understand. Let me tell you what happened.

When I asked you to paint the boat, I forgot to mention about the hole.

When the boat dried, my kids took the boat and went on a fishing trip.

They did not know that there was a hole. I was not at home at that time.

When I returned and noticed they had taken the boat, I was desperate because I remembered that the boat had a hole.

Imagine my relief and joy when I saw them returning from fishing.

Then, I examined the boat and found that you had repaired the hole! You see, now, what you did? You saved the life of my children! I do not have enough money to pay your ‘small’ good deed.”

Just painting well without flaw is efficiency

Doing more than expected keeping in mind the purpose and fulfilling it is ‘Effectiveness’

Efficiency is process focussed ; Effectiveness is purpose focussed

 

As Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ji of the Art of Living says, “It is not doing great things that produce great results, it is doing small important things perfectly”

Working to make it Work!

As we complete 26 years of this blissful journey of togetherness – a journey that we began as 23 year olds, with joy in our heart and hopes in our minds, someone asked me why I write (by now the customary) blogs acknowledging her gracious (for me grateful) presence. I have so many reasons to do that.

Definitely not for this!!!

Firstly, I got to acknowledge that she deserves much more than whatever even the best of my words and language that I possess can ever express and secondly, considering the alternative – a Card – Sorry! that would be a pathetic replacement to what I want to really say (also there is not enough space on it to write these or for photographs). This is also done to let the world know that this journey is possible even in these days. Finally, I also write to remind some folks who would have forgotten that it is a special day for us, to wish and bless us to continue this journey into eternity.

“Only spiritual elevation can take away loneliness, not soul mates” said, Founder of Art of Living and our Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ji. Yet He blessed us all along to make it easy for me to elevate myself spiritually taking away my loneliness but also ensured that soul mate made it even more easier.

Those who know us would congratulate me, but they would agree and credit Aparna for this wonderful journey – that could well be an example of what & how it is supposed to be – Woman who is fixed, robust and capable of restoring any fallen ones around her. Someone who with lot of sacrifice, unknown to all of us, ensured that “Life is a celebration” not just for the immediately family but to the extended family (Let me assure you that it is definitely not a small one). This was evident just 2 days ago, on the Ugadi day – Painstakingly prepared fares, everything home made with a touch of love (that can never come when eating out) – egging us to do this or do that to ensure that guests simply feel WOW and want more! This has been the feature everyday of the 26 years that Aparna has embellished my life.

I am sure children wouldn’t disagree that life, without her constant but extremely caring and loving nagging, would never been the same. How much ever they are grown, they are still the 1-5 year olds in her eyes and thoughts. Without being overbearing, her care is simply overpowering. Same with her colleagues at work. I am yet to hear someone saying anything “not good” about this wonderful soul, who took up the huge challenge to live with me for 26 long years, bearing all my idiosyncracies (especially when it comes to food) and still working to continue this journey into eternity.

Then we have the extended family – Sindhu, Swathi, Iti, Asha, Meghana, Arun, Raghu, Yathin, Vidya, Giri, Binoy, Nagesh, Leela, Parinith, Rijina and this list goes on… who also bear the brunt of her love and care.

Sindhu, Vishnu, Aparna, Swati, Me, Iti and Divya On Ugadi Day
Vidya, Vishnu, Aparna, Me, Yathin, Giri and Divya On Ugadi Day

For those who want to know how it works! This journey comes with lots of ups and downs. My confession upfront! It is definitely she who goes more than half way to make it work. It is more “up” for her than me. It is more down for me than her. So all credits to her there! There are many things that we may not see eye to eye, that keeps cropping up again and again. We chose to work around those differences, accept those differences and lived with them. After a couple of years, we both gave up our attempts to change the other (though we haven’t stopped trying, we don’t insist that the other person changes to meet our expectations). This concept of marriage is what amazed our friends from Germany (Ulrich, Steffen, Tobias and many others) who worked in our office (Crompton Greaves Limited) as interns, during the initial years of our marriage. I had only one thing to tell them – In India, we don’t change our spouses – we change ourselves. Not so easy but we grow up seeing our parents making extreme degree of surrender of one’s compromisable principles, mindset and also beliefs to keep a marriage going and keep it blissful. I added, “We got to work to make it Work

A few months later in a contemplative mood, she asked how is it that our relationship of absolute opposite working – we only looked at each other, grinned and then picked up another argument to keep this relationship firing. It got to be a miracle. Did we believe in miracle? No! We don’t just believe, we rely on it (as Sri Sri spoke during one of His discourse). Our journey is a living example. And I would be claiming false credit if I say it is because of me. Thanks my Dear! For making all those philosophy work in our case.

Happy Anniversary, dearest Aparna. You are simply the best. As I wrote in one of the earlier pieces, “You Complete Me”

Loads and Loads of love!

Decided to gift ourselves a Pilgrimage Trip to Tirupati to express our gratitude to the Lord for this amazing present. Sharing some pictures of the journey so far

A friend whom we met exactly 2 months ago in same place
Lady of the Day!
Kanipakkam Vinayaka Temple
Kanipakkam Vinayaka Temple
Kanipakkam Vinayaka Temple
Kanipakkam Vinayaka Temple
Kanipakkam Vinayaka Temple
Our Meal 🙂

Srinivasa Mangapuram
Srinivasa Mangapuram
Kapaleshwara Temple, Tirupati

Signing of as always with a song chosen just for you