Happy Birthday Di – Love you >>Infinite number of selfies you click

To my princess and verily a part of my soul – Birthday Greetings to you as you enter the final year of 20s and begin the countdown for 30s. It would be a cliche if I say, it looks like yesterday that Sister Almeida came and placed the little bundle of infinite joy in my grateful arms – that is an oft felt thoughts of any father who is fortunate to have someone like you in their life. But then IT IS TRUE! We never realise the time flying away and this little bundle of joy has grown into a beautiful damsel. Happy Birthday Di.

With Sister Almeida when she was born and then 25 years later – Wasn’t I right in 1st paragraph of this piece?

A popular joke around the world is about 29th Birthday. They say this is one birthday that is celebrated so many times for many years by everyone. That feeling and urge to continue staying in 20s is irrestible. I am sure this will be your only 29th Year. Finding words that can truly express what I feel for you is tough first time and if you chose to celebrate 29th Birthday for the next 21 years, I would be language bankrupt.

While there – here is one of the most popular Humorous wish

Most birthdays come around just once, except for your 29th! You’ll notice in the years to come that every now and then you’ll be recelebrating your 29th birthday again and again!

A few days back – when my Nephew, Adharsh clicked this as she sat on my lap – IT WAS JUST LIKE IT WAS 29 YEARS AGO

These are not just words of an emotional parent – with every year you seem to be getting more beautiful, cleverer, more mature and most importantly – MORE CARING and LOVING! Every time I feel that it has saturated and it is humanly impossible to be loved or cared more, you pleasantly surprise me. Be just the way you are – Happy, Joyful and Cheerful because it is INFECTIOUS. You ensured that everyone around also become just like you, Chirpy, Bubbly and Blissed!

Statutory Warning during Pandemic – Her Cheerfulness, Joy and Smile is Contagious (It always was)

As I get to this stage of this piece, I suddenly am afflicted on what I have described in the past as Blog-Fear (like Stage-Fear). There is so much, so much to write but lost for words. You are in that phase of life when there is so much for all of us to cheer for. Resisting the urge to yell from the rooftop. Let it be for now! This moment is yours and yours alone and don’t want to preempt it and leaving it to you to TELL OR YELL! The law of nature is keep everything continual and cyclical and it is your turn now. Congratulations and Greetings on that!

On that day, which was Important Milestone of your life – Before you set on to build another Home with Arun

What I personally love the most about you is the fact that you touched 1000s of lives positively, just like you touched ours. Needless to mention, my only wish is that nothing takes your quality of loving, caring, dignifying and cheering up the world SELFLESSLY! This is a blessing from me to you and a prayer to the Divine from me – continue being the priceless GIFT to us and continue being one to the world. We learnt the joy of giving selflessly, the random act of kindness from you and we truly consider it an ornament not many apart from you can wear it naturally.

The Precious one from my Precious One
Happy Birthday Divya/Akhila (our Everything) – With loads of love from us

We love you far more than the number of selfies or photographs you get clicked. May Divine shower you His choicest blessings and more on this wonderful day and every moment of the year ahead. Your presence in our lives only proves that the Divine loves us really, else why would HE deliver this precious gift 29 years ago to us.

No tribute or gratefulness piece of mine ends without dedication of a song. This time a Tamil Number which is a favourite of my Princess and mine too. She hooked me on to this song and it is a regular one during our drives out of town. My pick of the stanza in that song (it is not just Velli, which means silver, it is something priceless)

Oru velli kolusu pola
Indha boomi sinungum keela.
Aniyaadha vairam pola
Andha vaanam minungum Mela.

Sung by one of favourite singers – Mahathi who also was/is closely associated with us (for many years now)

To the one who made me forget time

As we complete 31 years of journey together, someone just said the traditional gift idea – The Time Piece! I wonder if it is even appropriate gift especially to Aparna, my companion in this blissful journey who made me forget time. 31 years went away in a jiffy and it would be inappropriate to use this gift idea.

Happy Anniversary Aparna

28th March 2022 – In a wedding of our friend’s son. An appropriate occasion to use this photograph

Yes, 31 years of cohabitation or rather living it up together, though ups and downs, in bliss and in challenge, in abundance and scarcity – nothing mattered – it was so easy living it up after having seen both the best and not so good moments. When one of the kids asked me how different it was on this day 31 years ago, has the love diminished, have the dreams remained a dream, given a chance what would you like to change and do things differently? I chose to answer the last question first and that has the answer to all those questions. I would change nothing at all. I will do things exactly like the way it has been done every moment of 31 years and nothing differently. That starry eyed me still remains at the core and left wondering what and where I would have ended up, had this amazing lady not chosen to walk alongside me.

When all our kids decided to get together at home to make this a memorable and special day for us and be with us to usher in midnight of 31st March, it got even more overwhelming. Each one of them make it special for us at every step, in their own ways. Ever grateful to the divine for the presence of each one in our lives. Thank you Kids! You make every moment worth living.

As always here is the song, miraculously found it while uploading some songs onto my channel. And it was Michael Matta’s tribute to his better half on their 31st Anniversary (Coincidental or Law of Attraction?). And every word is just a reflection of what I have to say. Thanks Mike for saying it for me.

Sustaining Volunteering-Dispassionate Attachment

Once again this is a collection of my tweets in a fairly verbose manner since this doesn’t have limtations of number of characters like on Twitter

सक्ता: कर्मण्यविद्वांसो यथा कुर्वन्ति भारत |
कुर्याद्विद्वांस्तथासक्तश्चिकीर्षुर्लोकसंग्रहम् ||

saktāḥ karmaṇyavidvānso yathā kurvanti bhārata
kuryād vidvāns tathāsaktaśh chikīrṣhur loka-saṅgraham
Bhagavad Gita 3:25

As ignorant people perform their duties with attachment to the results, O scion of Bharat, so should the wise act without attachment, for the sake of leading people on the right path
Source of translation : https://www.holy-bhagavad-gita.org/

In context of Volunteering for the Fight against Covid19 Pandemic, what was initially thought as a short term battle, got extended wave after wave and as I write this we are already at the end of Year 2 and battling the 3rd wave (thankfully not so harsh like the 2nd wave). Original mobilisation was for just 2 months and it never seem to get over.

In an online talk to a collection of Civil Society, where I suggested a free-flowing Q&A model instead of a Lecture and then follow up questions. The first question I received was a interesting one. The participant wanted me to describe in a phrase (don’t know why this limit)- what can prevent Volunteering Fatigue, that would be natural due to unexpected extension of time devoted to a passionate cause, as against paid volunteering – My answer phrase was “Disapassionate Attachment” which is the essence of that particular verse from Srimad Bhagavad Gita. Everything else is subordinated to the Cause.

More often than not, especially in the current round of Volunteering, Young, energetic and passionate volunteers never needed any motivation as they are already inspired and self-fired. But those get fatigued are those who want to deliver perfection and fail.

न बुद्धिभेदं जनयेदज्ञानां कर्मसङ्गिनाम् |
जोषयेत्सर्वकर्माणि विद्वान्युक्त: समाचरन्

na buddhi-bhedaṁ janayed ajñānāṁ karma-saṅginām
joṣhayet sarva-karmāṇi vidvān yuktaḥ samācharan
Bhagavad Gita 3:25

The wise should not create discord in the intellects of ignorant people, who are attached to fruitive actions, by inducing them to stop work. Rather, by performing their duties in an enlightened manner, they should inspire the ignorant also to do their prescribed duties.

Whenever these inspirational gems talk to me about how to avoid failure in the task – I only request them not to aim for delivering perfect service, but aim to deliver acceptable service. Because what the beneficiary needs simply is unpredictable (COVID19 context)

Not all our stories ended up like in a fairy tale – but consolation is that it was not due to lack of effort. Not to let one setback paralyse because we then are letting down so many others waiting. Agreed we are not machines, but there is no choice but to move on.

Working in various verticals of my current efforts, establishing the basic framework and hand it over to the successor who can definitely do a better job than us to innovate and grow the vertical better to serve more people. Here, a mistake most leaders commit has to be discussed. Their inability to let go and trust the successor to do it better (there could be other reasons, but keeping it positive). Since it was conceptualised and executed first time by me, I always feel no one else can do that task as well as me (leave alone better). More often than not, a good capable leader is lost in the process because he/she is not available for any other task and occupied in something so mundane or routine by now, that anyone else could have done. As Chandan, one of the volunteers said, Once you weather the storm, leave it to someone to manage in calm waters. I have found some of them get fatigued in this situation. They assume they are in control of everything and get mentally tormented that in reality they are not in control of that situation. Fight against COVID19 was a cascading situation of this nature, even today. Letting go is an important achievement when you are in dispassionate attachment and helps avoid volunteering fatigue

I draw from my personal experience when I adopted this practice. Withdraw from the vertical once the assigned role of establishing framework is over (Dispassionate Attachment). In almost each Veriticals, my successor grew it in unimaginable scale (to be honest, I could not have done it at all)

The last round of volunteering was totally different model and found it was more enchanting. Zero Budget operation, Amorphous bunch of citizens coming together for a single cause – BeatTheVirus & slogan being WeWillWin, it came with horde of challenges. Navigating through unfriendly official system to deliver using the same system. Being amorphous itself brought some amount of unpredictability, with no formal organisation structure, one that emerged on its own during the course of operation (Swayambhu in action) and various pushes and pulls in different directions. But in the end DELIVERED

During the horrendous 2nd wave, it may not have ended well for some families but visible gratitude of people whom we touched, only reinforced the feeling that they did not give up on the world. When they say, Thanks for being besides us & making us realise not everything in this world is bad. It was personally very different this time. Losses were kind of certain – lost many of them known to me very well too, we were able to help some who emerged successfully from the havoc to come back and work with us.

With self fired young and enthusiastic Volunteers, only facilitative leadership works and best form in my opinion is Servant leadership. Transactional leadership is sure prescription for disenchantment. Show-how works better than know-how. Officialdom and bureacracy would well take note of the popular saying in QMS context, “Never end up having a system for documentation instead of a documented system”. One big mistake we do in the process of chasing a system it to create so much of documentation, most of them totally avoidable, that instead of working we had a team spending most of the time creating presentations and records. It is not about discipline or credit-chasing (young ones are smart they see it right away), look for method in madness especially in Unpredictable situation.

To add an important thing here- to avoid Volunteering Fatigue, consider Volunteering as a privilege not a favor we do to others. Reason why I had serious apprehensions about using the words like CoronaSainika or CoronaWarriors etc (though I plead guilty of using it many time myself)

In the context, Pujya Gurudev Sri Sri Ravishankar ji in 5 words said – “We Are Not The Doers“. What a lovely way to remain detached while remaining committed to the cause. Designations, hierarchy, results, even the organisation – nothing would matter once in this mode.

Thoughts of a fellow volunteer on org: I think this is the general phase of how it happens. Be it economy or any other thing, there is a phase of really good unselfish work, followed by growth, then peaks and due to vices and ego taking over, the downfall.

Signing off saying, Letting Go is not Giving Up, it is smart way to remain objectively detached (accepting that we are not the Doers) from outcomes, but ensuring there is no lack of effort.

Happy Volunteering