Joy of Giving: Dignity Matters

“Charity is injurious unless it helps the recipient to become independent of it.” — John D. Rockefeller

True generosity requires the humility to wait for an invitation and the wisdom to give in a way that makes the receiver feel stronger, not smaller.

Karna & Mountain of Gold

Bhagwan Krishna, wanting to teach Arjuna a lesson about true charity, turned two mountains into solid gold. He first asked Arjuna to distribute them to the poor. Arjuna, being methodical and perhaps a bit egoistic about the task, spent days laboriously measuring portions of gold to ensure every villager got an “equal” and “fair” share. He eventually became exhausted and frustrated by the never-ending task.
When Krishna asked Karna to do the same, Karna simply called over two passing villagers and said, “These two mountains of gold are yours; do with them as you wish.”

A Gift Once Given Belongs to Recipient – Don’t Manage Usage
PC: Google Gemini


While Arjuna tried to manage the charity, imposing his own ideas of how it should be received and used. Karna recognized that once a gift is given, it belongs to the receiver. He didn’t force a system of distribution on them; he respected their agency to handle the wealth themselves.

Dronacharya & King Drupada

The rivalry between Dronacharya and King Drupada is a classic example of how unsolicited charity can be perceived as an insult. Drona and Drupada were childhood friends. Years later, when Drona was impoverished, he went to Drupada for help, calling him “friend.” Drupada, now a king, insulted Drona, saying a beggar and a king cannot be friends. Later, after Drona became the teacher of the Pandavas, he had them defeat Drupada in battle.

Respect Recipient’s Dignity: Else a Surrender or a Gift is Worthless
PC: Google Gemini

Drona then in infinite wisdom and goodness generously gave half the kingdom back to Drupada, saying, “Now we are equals, and we can be friends.” Drupada did not see this as charity or a kind gesture. He saw it as a forced humiliation. This unsolicited gift of his own land sparked a burning desire for revenge, leading Drupada to perform a sacrifice to obtain a son (Dhrishtadyumna) specifically to kill Drona.

Types of Charity from Bhagavad Gita (Guna based)

In the Bhagavad Gita (17:20), Krishna defines the highest form of charity (Satvika Daan) with specific criteria.. When it is done as a duty (Datavyamiti), without expectation of return. This Charity purifies the giver’s heart and at the same time maintains the receiver’s dignity.

दातव्यमिति यद्दानं दीयतेऽनुपकारिणे ।
देशे काले च पात्रे च तद्दानं सात्त्विकं स्मृतम् ॥

Charity given out of duty, without expectation of return, at the proper time and place, and to a worthy person is considered to be in the mode of goodness

In the Bhagavad Gita (17:21), Krishna talks about the next form of charity (Rajasic Daan). When a charity is given with the hope of a reward or grudgingly (Pariklistam) it is not of the purest form. It is sometimes performed for elevation to the heavenly kingdom and sometimes with great trouble and with repentance afterwards or sometimes given under some obligation, at the request of a superior. This is often forced charity. It inflates the giver’s ego and makes the receiver feel like a project or a debtor.

यत्तु प्रत्युपकारार्थं फलमुद्दिश्य वा पुन: ।
दीयते च परिक्ल‍ि‍ष्टं तद्दानं राजसं स्मृतम् ॥

Charity performed with the expectation of some return, or with a desire for fruitive results, or in a grudging mood is said to be charity in the mode of passion

In the Bhagavad Gita (17:22), Krishna talks about the last & most undesirable form of charity (Tamasic Daan). Charity given at the wrong time/place, to an unworthy person, or with contempt/disdain (Avajnatam) is a form that is better avoided. Neither the Donor nor the Donee is elevated in this context. This humiliates the receiver. It is unsolicited help that actually harms or degrades the person receiving it.

अदेशकाले यद्दानमपात्रेभ्यश्च दीयते ।
असत्कृतमवज्ञातं तत्तामसमुदाहृतम्

Charity performed at an impure place, at an improper time, to unworthy persons, or without proper attention and respect is said to be in the mode of ignorance.

Quite often all these profound truths are overlooked in the rush to do good. The dynamic between a Donor and a Donee is a delicate social and psychological ecosystem. When that balance is ignored, help can inadvertently become a tool of disempowerment. Dignity is the internal sense of worth. In many cultures and psychological frameworks, receiving help can feel like a debt that cannot be repaid, creating an immediate power imbalance. Clearly distinguish between two types of giving. Never become a Vertical Giver where giver looks down at the receiver. This is clear prescription for resentment and a sense of inferiority. On the contrary be a Horizontal Giver where there is a sense of partnership. The giver views the receiver as an equal who is currently facing a challenge, recognizing that roles could easily be reversed.

Helping someone who hasn’t asked for it can sometimes be perceived as a boundary violation or invasion of personal independence” It sends a subtle, most likely unintended message: “I don’t think you are capable of handling this yourself.” When we intervene without invitation, we strip the individual of the opportunity to solve their own problems, which is essential for building self-efficacy and end up giving them what I call a “Savior Complex” – This occurs when the giver’s need to feel helpful outweighs the receiver’s actual needs. The focus shifts from the problem at hand to the giver’s internal validation.

Respect the Recipient: Indian philosophy says, Charity is not a favour one does to the recipient it is the donor who is actually being blessed by the Donee’s willingness to accept.
Giver’s Ego: Forcing charity often stems from the giver’s desire to feel powerful or virtuous, rather than a genuine focus on the receiver’s needs.
Karmic Interference: On the flip-side intervening unsolicited in another’s struggle may interfere with their Prarabdha Karma (destiny they must work through), though this is often balanced by the duty to show compassion (Karuna).

Most important factor is the Timing and Context. Timing is everything. For help to be effective, the receiver must be in a state of readiness—both emotionally and logistically—to utilize the resources provided. Giving a how-to manual to someone in the middle of an emotional crisis is a mismatch of readiness. They need empathy first, and information later.
Finally, when a receiver is ready, they take ownership of the help. When they aren’t, the help is often wasted or discarded because it wasn’t integrated into their own plan for progress.

Pujya Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar founder of The Art of Living says, “When we do daana, charity, or help someone who is really in need, the sigh of relief from that soul brings positive vibrations to you. These good deeds bring you merit, which in turn helps you go deep in meditation and elevate your consciousness. If we think of how we can be useful to those around us, we can never get depressed. People who get depressed do not know this. They get depressed because they keep thinking only about themselves. If they start to give or serve they will notice that their depression has vanished”

He continues, “Let’s ask ourselves, ‘How can we be useful to people around us, and to the whole world?’ Then our hearts start to blossom. The best seva is helping someone to understand this eternal nature of life. Life is a journey, moving from the joy of taking, to the joy of giving.

You can read my earlier blogs on this subject here

Sesame & Soul: The Merit of Shattila Ekadashi

Shattila Ekadashi is a powerful day of purification dedicated to Bhagwan Vishnu. The name itself reveals its essence: Shat (six) and Tila (Ellu in Kannada or sesame). It emphasizes the use of sesame seeds in six specific ways to cleanse sins and attract prosperity. This Ekadashi is unique because it focuses on karmic cleansing. According to the Padma Purana, observing this fast helps a person break free from poverty—not just financial, but also spiritual and mental. It is believed that for every sesame seed you donate on this day, you earn a thousand years of peace in the celestial realms.

In Hindu tradition, Ekadashi is not just a date on the calendar; she is a divine goddess and the personification of the 11th lunar day. Ekadashi is a Shakti (divine energy) who manifested from Bhagwan Vishnu’s own body. She is the embodiment of penance and purity, often depicted as a beautiful maiden equipped with divine weapons.

Ekadashi Vrata Set-up

The story traces back to the Satya Yuga and involves a fierce demon named Mura (or Murdanav). Mura had defeated the Devas (gods) and seized control of the heavens. Terrified, the gods turned to Bhagwan Vishnu for protection. Vishnu fought Mura for 1,000 celestial years. To change his strategy and draw the demon out, Vishnu traveled to a cave in the Himalayas called Himavati and entered a deep meditative sleep (Yog Nidra). Mura entered the cave and raised his sword to kill the sleeping Bhagwan. At that exact moment, a luminous woman emerged from Vishnu’s 11th sense (the mind/intellect). The demon was mesmerized by her beauty and challenged her. She agreed to marry him only if he could defeat her in battle. During their duel, she eventually beheaded Mura, saving Vishnu and the universe. When Vishnu woke up, he was pleased with her valor. He named her Ekadashi (since she appeared on the 11th day) and granted her a boon. She asked that anyone who fasts on her day be cleansed of their greatest sins and granted spiritual liberation (Moksha).

“Ekadashi” literally means eleven. The fast is meant to gain control over Eleven Senses: 5 sense organs or Jnanendriyas through which we perceive and comprehend the world around us : Ears (Shrotra): For hearing (Sound); Skin (Tvak): For touching (Feel); Eyes (Chakshu): For seeing (Sight); Tongue (Rasana): For tasting (Flavor); Nose (Ghrana): For smelling (Scent). 5 action organs or Karmendriyas through which we interact and respond to the world around us: Mouth/Speech (Vak): For speaking and communicating; Hands (Pani): For grasping, creating, and handling; Feet (Pada): For movement and locomotion; Excretory Organ (Payu): For elimination and cleansing; Reproductive Organ (Upastha): For procreation and generation and Finally, Mind (the 11th sense). The mind is considered the “Master Sense.” It coordinates all the other ten. For example, Without the mind’s focus, the eyes may see but the brain won’t register and so on.

Detaching from 5 Sense + 5 Action + 1 Mind (Ekadashi Organs)

It is said that the Papa Purusha (personification of sin) has no place to hide from Ekadashi’s power, so he takes shelter in grains on this day. This is why devotees strictly avoid rice and wheat during the fast.

The Legend behind Shattila Ekadashi

The legend of Shattila Ekadashi is a powerful lesson on the balance between personal devotion and social compassion. It is primarily found in the Bhavishyottara Purana as a conversation between Bhagwan Krishna and Narada Muni. Long ago, there lived a Brahmin woman who was an extraordinary devotee of Bhagwan Vishnu. She spent her entire life observing strict fasts, performing complex rituals, and maintaining deep celibacy. Her devotion was so intense that her body became frail and her soul incredibly pure. However, she had one major flaw: she never gave anything in charity. Despite her wealth, she never offered food to a hungry person, a Brahmin, or a monk.

Bhagwan Vishnu decided to teach her the value of Daana (charity). He descended to Earth disguised as a wandering beggar (Sanyasi) and approached her door for alms. The woman, annoyed by the interruption to her prayers, initially refused. When the beggar persisted, she lost her temper. Instead of giving him food, she picked up a lump of dry mud and dropped it into his begging bowl. Bhagwan Vishnu quietly accepted the alms and returned to his abode, Vaikuntha.

When the woman eventually died, she was granted a place in Vaikuntha because of her lifelong devotion. She was given a magnificent, gold-studded palace and a beautiful mango tree. However, when she entered the palace, she was shocked to find it completely empty. There was no furniture, no wealth, and most importantly, no food. She began to starve in the middle of her own paradise.

She prayed to Bhagwan Vishnu, asking why her devotion led to such a barren existence. The Bhagwan replied: “You received a palace because you were devoted, but since you only gave mud as charity on Earth, your home here is filled with nothing but that same mud.” He told her that soon, the wives of the demigods would visit her. He instructed her not to open the door until they explained the significance of Shattila Ekadashi. The woman followed his advice. When the celestial ladies arrived, she kept the door shut until they revealed the secret of the “Shattila or Six Sesame Seeds” ritual. She then observed the Shattila Ekadashi fast with full faith and donated sesame seeds as prescribed. And Lo!!! Her palace instantly filled with grains, wealth, and comforts. She understood that while fasting purifies the self, charity sustains the universe.

Miserly Woman & Bhagwan Vishnu

Takeaways

The legend emphasizes that spiritual merit is two-fold:
Vrata (Fasting): Purifies your internal character and body.
Daan (Charity): Secures your external abundance and supports others. THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT
It is pertinent to remember that one without the other is considered incomplete in the eyes of the Divine. Spiritual growth is incomplete without compassion and charity.

The Shat-Tila Rituals

Devotees use sesame seeds in six ways to gain maximum spiritual merit:

  1. Bathing: Mixing sesame seeds in bathwater.
  2. Paste: Applying sesame paste (ubtan) on the body.
  3. Havan: Offering seeds into the sacred fire.
  4. Libation: Offering water with seeds to ancestors (Tarpan).
  5. Eating: Consuming sesame-based food (like Ellunde or til-laddu).
  6. Charity: Donating seeds to the needy.

Procedures and Rituals for Puja

Preparation for Abhishekha

To observe Shattila Ekadashi at home, the focus is on simplicity and the sacred use of sesame seeds. Since it falls on January 14 this year (2026), we can easily integrate these steps into our morning routine.

  • Bath: Add a few black sesame seeds to your bathing water. This is believed to cleanse your aura.
  • Sankalpa (Intention): While bathing, make a mental resolve (Sankalpa) to observe the fast with devotion and kindness.
  • Clean your puja space and place an image or idol of Bhagwan Vishnu (or Krishna).
  • Light a Deepa (lamp) using ghee.
  • Offer yellow flowers, as yellow is the color most dear to Vishnu.
  • Abhisheka: If you have a small idol, perform a symbolic bath with water mixed with sesame seeds.
  • Naivedya: Offer sweets or dishes made of sesame, such as Ellunde or Til-Laddu or Til-Chakli.
  • Ensure the food that we offer as Naivedya (or that one we consume), is free of onion or garlic.
  • Recite the Vishnu Sahasranama (1000 names of Vishnu) or simply chant: Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya
  • Read or listen to the Shattila Ekadashi Vrat Katha (the story of the stingy woman explained earlier) to remind yourself of the importance of charity
  • Daana or Charity (Most Important) Before sunset, set aside some sesame seeds, warm clothes, or food to give to someone in need. In the Indian context, donating Ellu-Bella or Til-Gur (sesame and jaggery) is considered highly auspicious on this day.
  • Parana (Breaking the Fast): Maintain the fast throughout the day. You can have fruits and milk if a full waterless fast is too difficult,
  • Break the fast the next morning after sunrise by taking a small portion of the Ellu or sesame seeds you offered to the Bhagwan.

Summary for 2026

In 2026, Shattila Ekadashi falls on Wednesday, January 14, coinciding with the auspicious period of Makar Sankranti.

Parana (Fast Breaking): January 15, between 07:15 AM and 09:20 AM.
Mantra: Vishnu Sahasranama or Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya.
Vrata Date: January 14, 2026.

Since this Ekadashi falls on Makar Sankranti day, the spiritual benefits of donating sesame seeds are considered Akshaya (everlasting). Even a small donation goes a long way.

Don’t Chop the Banyan: Strengthen Roots, Not Ratings

Assessing veteran educators in technical fields requires a shift from “inspection” to “collaboration.” These teachers often possess deep institutional memory and hands-on expertise that a checklist can’t capture. One of the methodology to assess them while keeping their dignity and ego intact is to rename the Assessment. This is especially true when learning and information is everywhere in the modern times and does not necessarily need a campus.

As they say, choice of words matter. Terms like “Performance Review” or “Audit” are better avoided when dealing with Senior Trainers. Maybe calling it as “Knowledge Sharing Sessions” where the projection is that the assessment is a way for them to document their expertise for the next generation. Or call it “Strategic Benchmarking” where we position assessment as a high-level alignment with industry standards rather than a critique of their teaching style. Teachers in India are still revered and whatever is done has to be with this in mind. Even an imaginary negation of this reverence in public especially with students in audience, would definitely result in immense negative repercussions.

Teachers even today are a revered Figures, Respect that in all situations

In my experience as a trainee, then a trainer and manager of trainers, trainer of trainer, what really a great Trainer does in a class? It is not delivering domain subject; they go way beyond that. They are far more holistic than we can really imagine. When assessing teachers for 10-20 minutes, especially senior teachers observing their class and then offering criticism can be highly detrimental and often ineffective if not handled with great care and objectivity. Anyone would agree that when there is an observer watching over our shoulder, the entire classroom environment is altered. Teaching become unauthentic too, however senior they are there would be performance anxiety (deliver to expectation of assessors, not students anymore), lack of spontaneity (handy when a teacher faces an unexpected question, or even re-calibrate the pace based on engagement), In such scenario assessor would end up making wrong conclusion and may not be a reflection of a trainer’s everyday skill. To quote an equivalence an observation is just a snapshot, and not an entire movie. The trainer’s class is not disjoint set of topical delivery but a series of carefully woven & intricate yet contiguous sub-units (for e.g. it may be bang in the middle of a multi-period unit or even the end. When an assessor begins assessing at this, there is lack of context in terms of student learning, unit’s learning outcome or even the previous coverage. The assessment becomes superficial and criticism becomes non-constructive. It is like judging the entire movie based on a Screenshot.

A Screenshot is just a Screenshot, not an Entire Movie

Very often assessor’s style becomes the prism to judge performance of other Trainer. This lack of similarity in styles may not be necessarily pedagogically unsound. I use humour a lot even when teaching Electronics (especially Measurement systems need a lot of it else it works better than best sedative). And there is risk of confirmation bias too. Criticism was focussed on perceived flaws and not necessarily on measurable outcomes. Most importantly, the exercise would undermine allowable professional autonomy and even trust. It would definitely demoralise and result in loss of trust on the administration, whereas the expectation is that the processes foster growth.

A senior trainer faring well on measurable metrics validates them as trainers. Not my point there is no need to assess or improve. My emphasis on using objective metrics. To quote a real example during an assessment process: A senior trainer teaching well for over 10 years, when asked to rate herself on scale of 1 to 4 rated herself level 2 because she felt there is always scope of improvement and learning, was dissed with statements like, “”are you training being at level 2 and messed with students who need level 4“. This is where I differentiate between criticism and feedback. We need to establish a clear metrics that would help both sides in making life easier and better for every stakeholder.

Though not related to pedagogy I had an interesting argument on management style with Late Dr Reguraj of NTTF on our management styles. He was convinced when I said that if we were to interchange our styles, we will end up as a pathetic sideshow. To clarify It was being a democratic or autocratic leadership styles. I did not have the persona, experience, wisdom or bandwidth like him to lead for a autocratic leadership style which worked for him for nearly 6 decades (evident in the heights that the organisation reached)

Often in my experience a Peer-to-Peer Model has helped avoiding senior teachers feeling patronized if assessment is performed by resources (especially from HR or Administration which is most often the process in Indian Organisations. Problem is compounded if they are younger in age both physical and age in the organisation. One of the ways that we overcame this when I was working with a reputed University was to bring in External SMEs. They are more likely to accept feedback from someone they perceive as a true peer who understands the technical grind and not a HR or administration who has no skin in this game (as seen from the lenses of the Teacher being assessed). It is also true in case of an assessor from the domain irrespective of age but not acknowledged widely as an authority of the domain.

Focus on “Modernization” over “Competence”. Never question their fundamental knowledge. Instead, focus the assessment on how they adapt that knowledge to new tools. “Your grasp of Robotic Arm dynamics is undisputed. Let’s look at how we can integrate this new simulation software into your lab sessions.”  This frames the gap as a technological shift, not a personal failure. If I were to suggest, there is no need to carry out an assessment of senior teachers focussing on technical or domain grounds. Focus rather on the pedagogical process and classroom management or engagement abilities. The basic assumption here is that the senior teacher’s domain expertise is a given (if not, he/she has no business to be in the role in the first place)

Adopting newer tools suitable to the times

Implement 360-Degree “Growth” Feedback. Instead of a top-down verdict, use a more holistic approach, start with self-appraisal first: This would let them lead giving a sense of ownership of the process. Seek suggestion on where they feel the department needs to go and what support they need to get there. Most important is how student impact is presented. There is no doubt that it has to be used but use it with care, filter it. In a tech training context, it is better to focus on clarity and Industry Readiness rather than Likability scores. Anyone would agree likability is actually trivial to a senior academic who is programmed to think that he is not here to win a Popularity contest.

Outcome can be drastically useful for all stakeholders if we drive the conversation towards how system at the end of the process would be a legacy that they leave behind for generations to come. Appeal to their role as mentors. Ask them to demonstrate their teaching methods so that the institution can “standardize their excellence.” Sit in their class to “learn their secrets” of student engagement. While doing this you get to see their performance, but they feel like they are being consulted for their wisdom.

Make it a Mentoring Knowledge Session

Some Tips based on My experience

Having made the point, it is a given that things need to keep pace and keep changing. A key cog in the VET space is the Trainer and getting them to get better, is a mandate. Factoring the Banyan equivalence (reverence), we also need to consider that while we used to value teachers for their vast domain knowledge, a student can Google a fact in seconds. We should assess senior teachers not on what they know, but on how they teach students to filter, verify, and apply what the web provides. It helps to think of them as a Strategist not a Sage, as a Curator of contextualiser of information, from being controller to facilitator of learning. A senior teacher’s value lies in teaching insights not delivering information. Therefore, their assessment should focus on their ability to build a student’s “learning muscles”—critical thinking, synthesis, and curiosity—rather than their ability to produce high scorers on a static test. Ascertain trainers are able to move beyond Syllabus compliance to Skill Architecting, helping students learn independently. I remember a couple of Teachers of my times – Mr Basudev Ganguly, Mr Chandrashekhar, Mr Vivek Nayak, Mr Anil Kumar in the VET space and Ms Usha Madhavan or Ms Prabha in my Primary schools. Looking back they were way ahead of times

Red-Line Phrases, Avoid these at any cost.

  • The data shows your performance is dipping.
  • Younger teachers are doing this better.
  • You need to change your old-school ways.

Green-Light Phrases. Try and use these

  • We want to document your ‘secret sauce’ for the department.
  • How can the institution support your vision for this lab?
  • Your experience is vital for our upcoming accreditation/audit.

When I was Principal in a reputed Technical Training School, I had an approach for my direct reportees where I start by acknowledging their years of service & also specific technical expertise. Generally I start with a “Soft-Landing” question like, “”Having seen the department evolve over the years, what is the biggest change you’ve noticed in the quality of students we are getting now?” This respects their tenure and allows them to vent about modern student challenges before I pivoted on to teaching methods. My approach to finding if the teacher was on top of the modern trends (without asking in so many words) to ask them, “If budget wasn’t an issue, what one piece of technology or lab equipment would you bring in to make your subject more hands-on for today’s industry?”  This while being a feedback to act on, also reveals if they are keeping up with industry trends without me asking, “Do you know what’s new?”

To get them to a high and open up even more, I generally would explore in their own words which of their teaching modules creates the biggest ‘Aha!’ moment for the students? And nudge them to answer how can we help them to scale that impact” This approach focuses on their success & also allows us to suggest digitizing or modernizing that specific module.

It is obvious that Kaizens are not preserve of a manufacturing industry alone. There is always a better way to do things even in education and training field. With rapidlychanging technology scenario it is obvious there could be a definite skill gap. Instead of framing it as a personal gap we can shift it as one of Institutional gap when we ask questions like  “With industry standards shifting toward things like [AI/Automation/Green Tech], where do you feel our current curriculum—or even our faculty support—needs a boost?”

As an ego massage and reinforcing it as a leader (Mentorship Feeling), and as an indicator of their teaching philopshopy nudge them to answer question like, ““The junior faculty often look to you for guidance. What is the one ‘golden rule’ of technical training you think they should never forget?” This works exceedingly well as we now seek their expertise, not test their expertise.

Meet in their Office – Instead of Summoning to Principal’s office

To summarise, shift the mindset from “I am checking your performance”, to “I am seeking your expertise to upgrade the department.”  Avoid the Boss’s Office vibe. Meet over tea or in their cabin. Use terms like Strategic Vision, Legacy, Industry Alignment, and Institutional Pillar. Don’t dump raw student complaints. Translate them into Opportunities for Modernization. The core issue with most processes is its obsession with perfecting the past. Most working overtime to raise test scores, essentially getting better at a game that no longer matters. In the middle of a global shift, doubling down on outdated metrics isn’t progress—it’s a distraction. We need to stop polishing the old system and start reimagining the skills, literacies, and outcomes our children actually need to thrive today. Remember! Today’s students have not seen a world without Internet, notwithstanding the Digital Divide. The assessment process more often than not doesn’t factor the fact that use of technology to find answer is a norm today, not an exception except when they come to the campuses. Determine the readiness to address this, not based on assessors’ outdated understanding of who a perfect trainer is. Assessment should help the organisation decide, if a senior teacher is just a human textbook, in which case they are redundant. If they are a coach for the “learning skill,” they are indispensable.