ensures

A typical cold morning in NCR. The only speciality is about the fact that the now world famous (alleged) apocalypto might strike Planet Earth (of which, Me & whoever could read are a humble resident). This post is my imagination how the scene would be in Delhi NCR. Let me post a few examples. You are free to post creativity on the comments section below. 🙂

Now, few possiblities. What if Apocalypto strikes on Indian Standard Time in India? Some scenarios…

• In Delhi, if it strikes in Lutyen’s, all the OB vans of media would be out in full strength covering the Apocalypse. How would they say these? Let me give you a few instances:

A particular channel which helped Terrorists of 26/11 in Mumbai with their “Live” coverage, would do this: “Our journos are defying the risk to their life and getting this live from “Ground Zero” to you.

Another journo famous for shouting from his toes, would have in his debate (as its a Friday) about this. He may say: “How can Apocalypso strike like this without intimating the Government? Nation wants to know…” (Live from Mumbai)

Another channel, where husband & wife are editors, these would be the punch lines. Wife would say: “Apocalypse is Saffron in color. Its a Majority community’s conspiracy.” While the husband would say, sipping his Old Monk, “I think, its a anti-secular conspiracy. It has targeted Minorities. Good night.”

Another channel, which may have reached at the last, would say: “We covered the Apocalypse first. Sabse Tez…”

• In Gurgaon, the traffic cops who shout round the clock clearing vehicles creating traffic jams: “Erraaa bo****dika….side karrr…appooocaleeptaa aaraha hai.
• In Noida, if it strikes in Noida, a particular leader of Uttar Pradesh, would say, “This is against Dalits.”
• Apocalypse would wait at Toll Plaza, Gurgaon if it plans to strike during Morning rush hour.
• After crossing Gurgaon Toll plaza, it would get stuck in Shankar Chowk Traffic Jam.
• I only pity of Apocalypse. Now, a word of caution for Apocalypse beware of Dehi vehicle drivers – especially HR-26, HR-55 & DL registered vehicles.
• Does Apocalypse has sun control film installed? You need to remove it before it enters Delhi.
• Once it reaches Haryana, the speed at which of Apocalypse comes down is measured in “litres”. Since potato is measured in inches, milk in Kilos, speed needs to be measured in litres, no? (Today, an MP spoke about a 24″ Potato!)
• All saas-bahu serials (those TV series that started when I was 10yrs old and still running) and their cries would be blamed on Apocalypse.
• Once it strikes, a Senior Ruling party leader would address a particular channel / tweet that this Apocalypse is a RSS Conspiracy!
• Last but not the least, Civil Society would address the media late in the evening and issue statements saying: “IF Janlokpal bill was passed, we could have stopped Apocalypse”
• After the Apocalypse, a particular minister said, “There was Zero Apocalypse”

All said & done, Apocalypse theory is something which I don’t believe in. We shall surely see 22/12/2012. But, the end would be a beginning to a change at a totally different level. Wait & watch.

Comments welcome. This post is purely for fun purpose. Don’t get me 66A please. Or I may need to post a picture of mine. Secondly, I don’t have time for your 66A tamasha. Thanks

Yours sachly,

Shreedharan Raman (Click on the name for more details of the Author)

His Website: http://www.shreedharan.com/