“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” … Socrates
Well! It is exactly at the moment this blog is published, 25 summers ago that a very nervous me tied the 3 Proverbial knots that began a journey (with the benefit of hindsight) a journey away from the seat of a Philosopher, with a co-passenger, Aparna that I was extremely fortunate and blessed to be bestowed with.
Two songs of those great initial days (that only got better) comes to the top of my mind) when I think of you. Here we go
“All the empty yesterdays have disappeared, now that you have filled my life with love,” the feeling does come that when the right one comes along, life is indeed better. Thus goes the lyrics of the famous Hot Streets Album
And for tolerating me for 25 years here is the one borrowed from Stevie Wonder (Remember? This was a super hit during our initial years. It appeared that he did not need vision to see what I thought about you. “I have found strength in you…you and I can conquer the world…” Here is the song with a special dedication on this occasion
Recently on my trip to Sao Paulo a friend (Brazilian on his way home) whom I met on the flight asked me, you have been married for 25 long years and that too to the same person – A rarity in our part of the world. He wanted to know how the journey has been. Humorously I replied (borrowing from someone more experienced) – “Yes indeed, we have been married for 25 SHORT years and it has been happiest 12.5 years of my life.” I clarified that it was not a joke – life has not been just 25 years of happiness – we had our share of trials and tribulations, ups and downs, elation and grief too. But I was lucky to have a co-pilot (or rather the pilot) who navigated around all the air pockets and turbulence to hold this flight steady, ensuring that we never crash landed. He quipped to a very proud me – “this is what makes India & its tradition so different from other parts of the world”.
Not many can boast of being so lucky. As I mentioned in my earlier blog, what would I do if I get a chance to relive my life again – marry even earlier (than 23.5 years when I walked the aisle this time)
From someone who asked me do we have to use water in pressure cooker to cook rice during our initial days, the transition to one today, who uses ordinary and available ingredients and capable of making a royal meal, is indicative of her quality of sacrificing all comforts to keep the family happy. For proof of this – don’t lool beyond my waist – from a 32 to 42 in 25 years is an endorsement of her culinary abilities.
Each one of us by the end of the day are dying to get home – that is the kind of a cosy nest that she has lovingly created for all the birds of the family to fly in and repose. We have to agree that God has indeed been very kind to us, to each one of us and more specially to me.
She is my biggest fan. The one who instilled all the confidence in me, when in those rare moments I lost belief in myself. Many wouldn’t believe this, but this is a fact – I have gone through those moments and thanks to Aparna, those moments were so rare. She prodded me along, when I had thoughts of quitting and I owe it to her for what I am today.
A great thing about Aparna – She just loves as I am, never trying to change me into something that I am not.
And what a mother you have been to two lovely children, we bought into this world. Let me confess, both of them have revealed that they love you so dearly simply for the unconditional love – everything else is relegated to second priority when it comes to them. They are proud and happy to be born of you.
But I do have some complaints though – her perpetual prayers to God and the Divine to keep all of us happy. Her nagging me and children to practice our Yoga and Kriya (Gift of Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar of the The Art of Living Foundation to mankind), Junk food quantity meter and check valve that she suddenly becomes, chasing everyone to keep home (and the closets) in an orderly manner – all those pleasant complaints.
Taking off from a quote attributed to Winston Churchill – One of the significant achievement of my life was my ability to convince Aparna to marry me.
It is not an exaggeration if I say that you highlight every moment of our lives. Those evenings when you instilled Indian Values in our Children, through numerous stories at bedtime, for which they remain indebted to you forever (they already speak about it today)
Thank a lot dearest Aparna, Wishing us a great 25 years of Married life – though everything seems like yesterday. What a journey it has been. On this special day for me, I repeat You complete me!!! Prayers that this blissful journey of togetherness continues for unending number of years and more.
Now you know why I am not a Philosopher!
PS: Message to my Brazilian friend: Yes! This is how it happens in India. Wife or husband never gives up on themselves or each other 🙂 She means a lot not because she is a perfect wife but only because she is a perfect Aparna – That is good enough!