It indeed was a very overwhelming weekend and the Monday that started this week . Meet this nice person, let us call “X” whom I met recently and was saddled (according to this person) with irretrievable marital relationship. “X” felt so worthless when even someone who just met (yeah, myself) refused to see “X”‘s side of the story.
I went on an overdrive trying to convince this person to give the relationship another shot, because the decision that had just been taken seemed so final and very critical considering the society that we live in. While trying to salvage the marriage, I also told that nothing should be at the cost of one’s own happiness (first time someone thought for me is what “X” said – not even my parents or elders in the family thought about my needs) and I also added in our society, happiness is also hinged on being HAPPILY married.
“X” kept on reiterating “Personally, I am a failure, I am nothing, worthless, useless” whatever superlatives that could be used to run oneself down. I somehow sensed that “X” was upto something very stupid and told in so many words, that come what may, I dont expect “X” to resort to something violent and to make it abundantly clear told “taking out one’s life does not solve the problems and that doesn’t get the happiness to you anyway”
As a parting words, I also added that whatever the decision, me and my wife would stand by “X”- whatever be the cost to us, socially or financially. I forwarded a story to “X” once I got back home.
A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a Rs. 1000/- Note. In the room of 200, he asked, ‘Who would like this Rs. 1000/- Note?’ Hands started going up.
He said, ‘I am going to give this Rs. 1000/- to one of you but first, let me do this. ‘He proceeded to crumple the note up. He then asked, ‘Who still wants it?’ Still the hands were up in the air.
‘Well,’ he replied, ‘What if I do this?’ And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe crumpled and dirty.
‘Now who still wants it?’ Still the hands went into the air.
‘My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth Rs. 1000/- .
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you should never lose your value in your own eyes. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless.
The message of this story was driven home and last night I got a email from this person “X” which said,
“I had decided to end my life, more than for my happiness, “to ensure troubles” for my spouse. Don’t know what made you say it, but I realized that my contemplated action doesn’t bring me happiness which is the basic purpose of the whole exercise. As you rightly said, decided not to miss my Sadhana since it gave me succour in such a short time of practice.
I am so glad to say that you opened my eyes to realize my own worth (not that I did not know it, I was blinded like many others in this world – so a close friend like you is required just to sprinkle a bit of water and wake us up). Yeah! When I don’t realize my worth, I can’t expect it from anyone else (spouse, parents, friends, children or anyone for that matter). I would never run down myself even in my mind henceforth. Please quote this story or mine in your blogs, there are many who are on the verge just like I was on Sunday – who nevertheless deserve to live and fight on! If any life is saved by reading my experience, I consider a favour returned back to you.
I am sorry to state that my decision to walk out of the marriage stays – it is gone beyond repairs and at this time even sadhana is not helping me to come to terms with this reality (sure you are not pleased to hear this decision of mine ). Am shifting out next month. Will be in touch and will seek out when in need, I am sure there are a couple of strong shoulders in you and your wife and Guruji (She means – Sri Sri Ravishankarji here – Follow HIM here – @SriSri), that I can rely on. My love to kids and pray for me”
Sharing it here, because “X” wanted this posted all over the world. Another thing, please dont stay with the negative part of this blog. I would like everyone to stay focussed on the “Note” story and the positives that this story effected.